Tuesday, July 10, 2012

God and the Secrets of Food

Yesterday on my drive to work, I was thinking about the question(s) I will ask God when I meet Him (cue Dishwalla).  It turns out I don't have a ton of questions for God, and my commute is about 8 minutes, so I had to come up with something fast.  Since food is both my friend and my natural enemy here on Earth, I figured it would be an enlightening topic.  That's it! I want to talk to God about all-things food. 

My conversation with God goes something like this:

Me: God, what are the secrets in the foods of the Earth?  Are there plants that can REALLY cure or prevent diseases like cancer?

God: There are many secrets, my child.  Look only to the rind of the watermelon for a cure for all cancers.** 

Me:  *Staring is disbelief.*

God: *Staring back in disbelief that I'm disbelief-ing Him.*

Me: So you're telling me that the white part of the watermelon that my mom warned me not to eat because "it will give you a stomach ache" is the cure for cancer? 

God: Yes. 

Dumbfounded, I break eye-contact with God, and the next person is up with his/her question.

I sincerely hope that I can come up with something better than that when the time comes, but it's good to have a back-up question. 

**If the rind of the watermelon does cure cancers, I don't know about it.  Please do not seek out watermelon rinds as an alternative treatment based on this blog.

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