Why don't you come with a User's Guide? I know you like to keep things mysterious and interesting and all, but I think most of humanity would benefit from knowing the answers to the following questions:
- How long can we keep certain foods in the refrigerator before they go bad? Ex. picante sauce, vegetable soup and lunchmeat
- Should we just stop making hotdogs altogether?
- How are we saved?
- When/How do you talk to your children about sex and death?
- How do I know when pork is really done (but not too dry)?
- What's the best way to raise kids?
- Spank or don't spank?
- What's the best haircut for my face shape?
- Why don't pets live as long as people?
Please refer to the Bible and/or Etiquette by Emily Post for all of these answers. Google anything else.